The Hardest Ride of All
© 2001 by E.Y. Cain
with every fiber of my being. How could he have done this to me, to us?
Didn’t he realize that I needed him like I needed to breathe? Didn’t he
understand that he was my other half? Didn’t he know that his carelessness
and stubbornness would rip the other half of my soul out of my body?
Selfish unthinking idiotic bastard!
All I could do was cry. And remember.
We’d been to the Daytona Bike show. He was all fired up about the new soft
tails and he wanted to get one. I agreed they were a real work of art,
especially the ones in Vivid Black, but I knew that we’d have to really
scrimp and save to get one. I thought it’d put too big a hole in our
budget to try to fork over the down payment then lay out the monthly
payments, which would have been more expensive than our van had been.
Jamie wanted to cash in an insurance policy and use that for the down
payment, then get a second job to pay off the bike, making double and
triple payments. I knew it would put a crimp in our social life, not to
mention playing merry hell with our sex life. Jamie had a problem staying
hard when he was tired and he was one of those people who had to have at
least nine hours of sleep a night to get rested.
We’d been arguing for the entire trip home, not loud and nasty, just
disagreeing. If I’d known what was going to happen, I’d have thrown a
hissy fit to end all hissy fits. I’d have turned into the old lady from
hell. I’d have done something, anything, to have changed his mind.
It was a long ride home from Daytona Beach. When we got there, we both
crashed for almost a day, then we decided to spend the rest of the next
day doing mundane little chores, emptying and airing out the saddlebags,
doing up the dirty laundry we’d had packed in the ‘bags, washing the bugs
off the windscreen of the bike. All the little things you need to take
care of when you’ve finished a long weekend road trip.
Jamie cajoled and pleaded and begged and generally made a charming little
pest of himself until I gave in. He was good at that. He’d make me laugh
until I cried with his antics, then he’d schmooze me into agreeing to
whatever idiotic scheme he’d come up with. He was like a little boy, sweet
and adorable one moment, wild and rambunctious the next.
Monday afternoon, after we’d both gotten home from work, he dragged me
down to the Harley dealership. He was going to special order the bike but
they had one in stock. It had just come in that morning. He was ecstatic.
He took it out for a test drive, then he took me out with him. I always
loved packin’ with Jamie, his slender hips and butt cradled in my thighs,
my body pressed tight into his back, my arms around his waist, and my head
on his shoulder.
I knew better than to try anything physical with him on a new bike. That
would have been stupid. He needed to get the feel of it, to concentrate on
how it handled and performed. Jamie was a good motorcyclist. He was also a
bit of a daredevil. I smiled against his shoulder, remembering the time
we’d fucked on his old Sportster while running down the highway at who
knows how fast. The memory made me horny and I reminded him of it when we
pulled up to a stoplight. I could feel him tighten and his breathing
changed. I knew I was going to get to ride when we got home, and I did.
We took the bike back and Jamie signed the contract. It was his. I rode
his old Sportster home, and the vibes were getting me even hornier than I
already was. As we pulled into the garage, I looked over and he sat there
on his shiny new bike and smiled at me. I took a memory picture at that
moment. I knew when we were old and gray, I’d remember him just like this,
sitting proud and tall on his new bike with a shaft of sunlight from the
open garage door outlining them in gold. My heart clutched a bit,
stuttered, then ran on. I always got choked up at the silliest things back
then.
After the obligatory admire and envy session with all the neighbors, most
of whom were bikers too, we went in and I started supper. Jamie came up
behind me and wrapped his arms around me, then started nibbling on my neck
and shoulders. “Hey, babe, y’wanna forget about supper for a bit and take
a little ride with me?”
“We just got back… Oh, that kind of ride.” The sparkle in his eyes told me
what he meant. “Let me put the food up so the cats don’t get into it.”
We raced upstairs, shedding clothes as we went, jockeying and bumping each
other in our haste to get to the bed. Our rule was, he who gets there
first gets to choose which way we do it.
We slammed into the bedroom, bouncing off the doorframe and scaring the
hell out of Dozer, the kitten we’d kept out of Lulu’s last litter. He
scrambled to the safety of the pillows as we flopped down across the bed,
wrestling and laughing and playing like children. I could see him out of
the corner of my eye, his head cocked to one side, his oversized ears
swiveling and flipping as he watched us.
Jamie pinned me to the mattress, then flipped me over and nuzzled my neck,
asking playfully, “Which way d’y’wanna play today, baby?”
“Doggy style, you dirty old man! I wanna feel your dick deep inside me and
I wanna feel you slap my pussy with yer balls! Deep and hard, sugar, and
work up to it slowly. I want it to sound like a jackhammer, and to feel
like one when you come.” I was almost breathless with greed for him as I
gasped out my wishes.
He ran his chin down the center of my back as he pushed a couple of pillow
under my belly, then he grabbed my hips and pulled me back on to him. He
was so hard it was like being impaled on a flesh covered statue, and he
slid home with that first thrust. I could feel the fire starting. I heard
him growl and it sent shivers down my spine. He leaned over and slid his
hands around to my breasts and he whispered in my ear, “I’m gonna make you
blow up, baby, just like the fireworks on the Fourth of July. Then I’m
gonna do it again, and again, and again, until you can’t take anymore.
Then I’m gonna make you crazy.”
He did.
I thought I was gonna explode when he drove into me, then I was sure I’d
implode when he pulled back. I clenched down as tight as I could, rocking
back into him, then forward away from him. Our juices eased the friction a
bit, but I knew I’d be a bit sore from this later. I didn’t care. This was
just too good to give up.
As I screamed my way through several orgasms I could dimly hear Jamie
growling encouragement. His voice always got low and sexy when he was
aroused, and I knew how horny he was by the depth and tone of it. I will
always remember the deep-throated roar he’d let out just as he came. It
was the sound of intense male satisfaction, and it always made me come
just a bit more.
As we were laying there, recovering from our fun, I could feel Jamie
relaxing on top of me. All of a sudden I felt him tense and he screamed, a
really high-pitched, almost frightened sound, and he scrambled off of me.
I saw a pale orange blur race by my head and Jamie lunged after it,
handicapped by holding his balls with one hand.
I oofed as his full weight landed on me, and tried to ask what was going
on, when I suddenly guessed what must have happened. We’d forgotten Dozer.
I giggled then chuckles rolled out, and I ended up laughing so hard I was
crying and holding my stomach. Dozer crept back towards me and climbed
into my lap, settling on the pillow I had my arms around and started
washing himself.
“That little fur-ball escapee from the loony bin just nailed my balls! I
wasn’t doin’ anything but layin’ there and he snuck up on me and smacked
my left nut! I’m gonna make you a kitty fur cigarette case! That little
vermin ain’t gonna live to see tomorrow…”
All through his diatribe, I kept getting more and more tickled until I had
to beg him to stop so I could catch my breath. I was gasping and cuddling
Dozer as I fell back, promising, between snorts of laughter, to protect
him from that madman. Jamie looked at me as though I had betrayed him on a
most fundamental level.
“Yer takin’ that little vermin’s side in this?” he asked incredulously.
“Jamie, he’s just a kitten! He was just playin’ with a new toy, something
different and unusual! Give the poor baby a break! You’ve scared the hell
outta him.” I snuggled the kitten up against my neck where he started to
purr and strop his face on my earlobe.
“Give him a break? What about me? I coulda been de-masculated! I coulda
been hurt!” Jamie looked wounded but I saw a sparkle of humor in his eyes
and then he started laughing with me.
“De-masculated? I think you mean emasculated, and his claws aren’t that
long yet. Did da big bad bully scare da mama’s itty bitty baby kitty?” I
crooned to Dozer as He purred and licked my ear. His sandpaper tongue gave
me shivers and tickled, then I had to laugh as he peeked out of my hair at
Jamie. “He’s a little ‘tack kitty, ain’t he. Mama’s widdle defender attack
killer kitty goin’ straight for da big bad growly man’s balls. Mama’s just
so proud of him, yes she is!”
“All right already! Enough with the baby talk to that little four footed
terror. I’m starved! Let’s go get somethin’ t’eat.”
“I’ve got chicken in the fridge, remember? I’ll get that goin’ on the
barbecue if you’ll tear up the salad stuff, okay?”
We passed a nice evening outside, talking with Jimbo and Lissy across the
fence.
A couple of days later, we had that horrible rainstorm, the one that
changed everything in the blink of an eye. I started out the day feelin’
really antsy, like I couldn’t sit still and everything worried the hell
outta me. I had a headache from the minute I woke up, and I was truly glad
I had the day off.
The service station called and told me they’d finally gotten the van done
the night before, and Jamie asked me to pick it up. He gave me a ride
there on his new bike, and decided to take it on to work. I warned him
about the weather and he laughed off my concerns, telling me he’d be fine
and to quit acting like I was his mama.
I think I got a bit huffy about that, but I know I kissed him goodbye and
told him I loved him. We always did that. The station’s mechanics had
known Jamie since high school and they razzed me a bit when I talked to
them about what they’d had to do to the Dodge to get it running again. I
gave as good as I got and we all had a good laugh before I left. As I was
climbing in, Jerry hollered out, “You tell Jamie I said he’s a lucky SOB,
and if he don’t want you, I’ll take ya in a heartbeat.”
I laughed and thanked him, then did a bunch of errands and ran home. About
the time I pulled in the drive, it started to lightning off to the west,
then it started pouring buckets of rain. I went in and made some hot tea,
then sat down to make up my honey-do list for the next weekend. We had
some things around the house that I needed Jamie to take care of, like
cleaning out the gutters and trimming one of the tree branches that was
too close to the windows.
It kept getting darker through the day and I got more antsy by the minute.
About 4:30, Jamie’s usual quittin’ time, I called his work to ask if he
wanted me to come get him and the bike. They said he’d just left, then a
lightning bolt hit real close by, and the line went dead.
I had a real bad feeling about things, and I couldn’t get settled down.
The lightning had taken out the electricity, and the gloom was oppressive.
I lit a bunch of candles and tried to figure out what to make for supper
that wouldn’t require cooking. I settled on fondue, and got everything
together for that, then sat and waited for Jamie to come home.
About 6:30, I was startled by the cell phone ringing. “Hello, Jamie, is
that you? Where are you?”
“Hello, ma’am, is this Tango Edwards of 1359 Oak Landing?”
“Yeah, who’s this.” I got a dire feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Miz Edwards, there’s been an accident. We need you to come down to St.
John’s as fast as you can get here. Your husband is here and we need some
medical information.”
I grabbed my purse and a rain poncho and was on my way out to the van as
we continued speaking. “How bad is it? I asked, dreading the answer.
“Ma’am, don’t waste any time.”
“I’m on my way there now, can you tell me anything about what happened?”
“All we know is that a lightning bolt struck the highway somewhere in his
vicinity and he swerved to miss it and lost control. There were about four
cars and a semi involved and Jamie is calling for you. Please hurry.”
“I’m about 5 minutes away.”
“We’ll let him know, but don’t waste any time at all.”
We said goodbye and I hit the accelerator. I was driving too fast for the
conditions, but I had no choice. This was what my dread and fear had been
focused on in the back of my mind. If only I’d made him take the van to
work today, he might be hurt, but not as bad as he was. It was my fault, I
didn’t want to ride his shiny new bike, so I didn’t bring it up. It was my
fault.
The guilt surging through my thoughts almost drove me mad, but I managed
to hang on long enough to dial Lissy and tell her what had happened, as
far as I knew at that point. She promised to get hold of the A.B.A.T.E.
president and get the phone tree activated. I knew I’d have some support
as soon as they could make it to the hospital.
As I hung up from her, I wheeled into the parking lot and slammed the van
into park. I left the keys in the ignition as I ran past the security
guard and up to the desk in the Emergency room. “Jamie Edwards?” was all I
could gasp out past the fear in my throat.
“This way ma’am,” and she took off running down the hall. I followed her
to the E.R. and was stopped at the doors by the scrub nurse. She yanked a
green gown onto my arms and over my shoulders, slapped a mask on my face,
and pushed me through the doors.
The doctor was trying to get him to lie still, and he had all kinds of
tubes sticking out of him. His eyes were wild and unfocused as he tried to
get off the table, mumbling my name. I was aghast at the amount of blood
all over him and some of the obvious injuries, like his arm which was bent
the wrong way.
“Jamie, honey, I’m here. Lay down and let the doc’s work on you, y’damned
fool. Lay down and shut up! Let these people do their jobs.” I know my
voice was harsh, my throat was constricted with terror. I pushed him back
down on the table.
“Tango, ‘s that you, baby? I gotta tell you somethin’ before they start
cuttin’ on me. I love you baby, an’ if anythin’ goes wrong, I want you to
be happy. I’ve left some instructions with Dave Miller, he’s the attorney
fer our chapter. I want you to follow ‘em, just as soon as you can. I want
you to remember what we had together, but don’t dwell on this,” he made a
motion down his body with his uninjured arm, ”too long, okay?” He moaned
and his head fell back on the pillow.
“Okay babe, I love you too, and I’ll take care of things, but will you
PLEASE let them work on you now? Please, honey, let them help you,” I
pleaded with him.
“Ain’t no help for me, but I’ll be all better if you just give me a kiss
and do what I’ve told ya.”
I looked at the surgeon and he nodded, so I kissed him as tenderly as I
could. I was astonished at the number of wounds I could see, and I knew
there were internal injuries as well. I brushed his hair off his forehead
and told him, ”I’ll see you as soon as they let me, babe, but don’t you go
flirtin’ with the nurses while I’m not around to keep you in line.” He
smiled and mumbled something then he went slack.
The anesthesiologist Looked at the doctor and said, “He’s finally out. You
can operate now.” A scrub nurse ushered me out into the waiting room
telling me how he’d fought being knocked out until I got there. She left
me with a cup of truly awful coffee and told me she’d have the surgeon let
me know when he was done.
I’d paced up and down for what seemed like an hour or two but was only ten
minutes by the clock when Lissy and Teeny Tina burst through the doors,
followed shortly by about half the local A.B.A.T.E. chapter. I told them
what I knew, and some of the guys volunteered to go find out where Jamie’s
bike was and take it to the house if it was in any kind of shape to be
taken away from the police lot.
A cop walked in to the waiting room and conversation immediately hushed
until we saw it was Jimbo, Lissy’s husband, and a fellow biker. He walked
over to me with his hat in his hand, and wrapped his free arm around me to
lead me to a chair. “Tango, I got some bad news for you. It seems the real
reason Jamie went into a skid is because of the front struts. One of them
snapped, almost clean in two, and it sent the bike out of control. We
called the dealership, they sent a tech down to look at it, and he seems
to think it was a manufacturing defect. He said there’s been a recall on
that model issued as of today, and that was where Jamie was headed when
this happened.”
“What? This is because of that damned bike that I never wanted to get in
the first place?”
“Tango, they want you to know that a rep will be here as soon as possible,
and that Jamie’s hospital bills and rehab costs are gonna be taken care
of. They also want to talk to you about an out of court settlement. I
think you oughtta call Dave, have him on hand when they get here. Don’t
rush anything, and don’t sign any thing until you talk to him.”
Tina piped up, “I just called him and he said he’s on his way over.”
“Thanks, Teeny. Tango, Lissy’s gonna go home an’ get you some dry clothes,
and she’ll call Miz Fishbourne to take care of your cats. Do you need
anything else?”
“Yeah, have her get hold of Frank, down at Jamie’s work. His home number’s
on the board by the phone. Tell ‘im what happened. Let him know I have no
clue when Jamie’ll be back to work.”
Lissy made a list, and I reminded her to blow out the candles that I’d
left burning in my mad rush out the door. She told me she’d take care of
everything, and said she’d bring me something to eat on her way back. One
of the guys volunteered to move my van then give her the keys when he was
done.
I had no shortage of company for the next six hours. Everyone was so kind
to me but I barely noticed, all my attention trained on the operating room
doors. A little before 1 a.m., the surgeon came out. He leaned on the wall
as he talked to the scrub nurse, then when she nodded towards the waiting
room, he pushed away and walked toward us. Everything seemed to slow down.
I could see in his eyes that the news wasn’t good. He looked at me and
slowly shook his head from side to side. His voice dropped the words into
the clear pool of silence that held the waiting room quiet.
“Mrs. Edwards, I’m afraid we couldn’t save your husband. He…” His voice
trailed off into the roar of blood that pounded through my head. I could
feel the room whirling around me and the darkness closing in on me, and my
last thought was, “He’s not telling me what I think he’s saying.” Then
everything went black.
* * * * *
We said goodbye to Jamie three days later. I don’t remember much of the
funeral. Dave Miller took care of everything according to the instruction
Jamie’d left with him. We had a wake at The Apehanger, our local chapter’s
favorite bar. Everyone from our chapter was there, as well as some of the
reps from nearby chapters. A.B.A.T.E. made sure the tab was taken care of,
and all the wives brought food, not that I could eat any of it.
I was so lonely all I wanted to do was weep. Lissy had called my work and
told them what had happened and I was surprised to see a lot of the suits
from the office show up at the funeral. They looked out of place amongst
the leathers and denims, but they were kind enough to show up. I stood it
as long as I could, then I asked Dave to drive me home. I wanted to be at
home with the cats, and with my memories. And I needed to do my mourning
alone.
Dave let me know what Jamie had left in his will. I was astonished to see
I’d never have to work another day in my life if I didn’t want to. He’d
made some shrewd investments and had had several insurance policies, not
to mention the settlement the Harley people were urging on me. I was a
very well to do widow. I signed some papers, thanked Dave, and asked him
to continue to manage Jamie’s portfolio for me.
He told me he’d be glad to, hugged me, told me about some of the other
bequests and instructions, then he left. I turned to face the silence of
our, no, of my house. I was alone. I was truly alone, for the first time
in six years. It was overwhelming. I turned on the stereo, put the
“Meatloaf, Bat Out of Hell” CD in, and went upstairs to remember our first
wild ride, and all the others that followed.
All I could do was cry. And remember.
I must have fallen asleep. I dreamed I saw Jamie standing at the foot of
our bed, reminding me of my promise. “You told me you’d grieve, then you’d
go on to find someone else, babe. I’m gonna hold you to it. I’ll give you
six months, then I want you to go on with things. If you don’t, I’m gonna
come back and haunt you ‘til you do.”
I reached out for him, but in my dream, my hands went right through him.
He leaned over and kissed me gently on my forehead and told me, ”We had
some wild rides, Tango. I’m so lucky I had you in my life for as long as I
did, and I want you to remember that. I was the luckiest man around, and I
knew it. I had six wonderful years with you. I grew to love you in every
way a man can love the woman of his heart, and you’ve never let me down. I
have loved you more than anything else in this world, but it’s time for me
to go on now. Please don’t be too sad too long, honey. Just remember how
much I loved you and live your life to the fullest. I did.”
He started to fade out. “I loved you, Tango. Please learn to be happy
again. I have to go now. I loved you with all my heart.”
I had tears in my eyes when I woke up, but my heart was at ease. The
loneliness was still there, but I knew I could go on without Jamie. It
would be a hard ride, the hardest ride of all, but I could make it. He
wanted me to.
Copyright
© 2001-2002 by E.Y. Cain
- All Rights Reserved This is a work of fiction. All the characters and
events portrayed in this work are either products of the author's imagination
or are used fictitiously. No part of this work may be reproduced by any
means or used in any form without expressed written permission from the
author.
Read the fourth installment
of this story Midnight Ride
Like name of the site, I'm erratic, neurotic and erotic. I like writing smut for a living, not that I'm making much more than a pittance, but it satisfies my inner woman. I'm 42, married for 17 years, owned by two neutered male cats, both of whom consider me to be a fine mattress and wonderful scratching machine, and a bit on the scattered side, especially when I'm writing.
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